I enjoyed our team discussion about communication styles. We discussed how certain behaviours may shut down or support a conversation.
Shut downs:
* Eye rolling
* Turning away / walking away from speaker
* Using a device
* Talking over top of someone
* Beginning to respond to someone, but talking about something else entirely
* Putting down an idea, even in a humorous way
* Having an insincere tone
Supports:
* Eye contact
* Nodding, smiling, showing interest
* Asking probing questions to understand the person's message
* Facing the person talking
* Stopping what you are doing to focus on the discussion
Why might we use 'shut down' behaviours?
Shut downs:
* Eye rolling
* Turning away / walking away from speaker
* Using a device
* Talking over top of someone
* Beginning to respond to someone, but talking about something else entirely
* Putting down an idea, even in a humorous way
* Having an insincere tone
Supports:
* Eye contact
* Nodding, smiling, showing interest
* Asking probing questions to understand the person's message
* Facing the person talking
* Stopping what you are doing to focus on the discussion
Why might we use 'shut down' behaviours?
- Lack of time.
- I am in the middle of something and I need to finish / I am focused on something else
- Inappropriate time.
- This is not the right physical place.
- There is too much else going on; e.g parents, environment, exhaustion.
- Having a slower processing speed/needing more thinking time
- Insecurity - lack of trust. Feeling personally attacked
- Not sure of intentions of speaker
- Emerging elephants or an elephant stampede that we want to avoid!
Perspectives Cards
1. Identify yourself at times of stress and not stress; in work and outside of work.
2. Try taking on a different perspective and using the scaffolds below.
Scaffolds
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